It’s been a few months since I posted here, but thought that today was an appropriate day to share about my gratitude. I was sitting in my class tonight discussing the difference between linear and logistic regression (still have no idea what that all means), when I looked down at my clock wondering how much longer we had to talk about this. It was about 6:30 PM when I realized that 15 years ago around this time in the evening was my last arrest. I was on my way to drop off drugs for a friend when I was pulled over for a missing front license plate. I was on probation at the time, so of course the officers went through the usual routine of searching my car, and found the drugs. I was irritated that I was going to jail again and that I had violated my probation for the third time. I was worried about losing my job that I recently got hired at, how I was going to get my car out of impound, and what to say to my family again for disappointing them.
Today my life is completely different and I could have never even imagined that I would come this far and changed so much. Tomorrow I celebrate 15 years of sobriety, 15 years of being on this journey to find myself, and 15 years of incredible moments and opportunities that lead me to believe that everything happens for a reason. I will be finishing this semester in a couple weeks and starting the last semester of my Doctoral program in Social Work at the University of Southern California in August. My capstone project (dissertation) is addressing Substance Use Disorders (drug addiction) in Asian American and Pacific Islanders (AAPI). My goal is to launch and lead the nonprofit organization that I have been developing as part of my capstone. My trauma, the sense of loneliness and despair, the devastation in my family’s eyes, and the shame all fuel my passion for wanting to help other AAPI individuals and families hurting like I once did.
Today I am absolutely grateful for the life I live, the beautiful people in my life that believe in me, my spiritual connection, and this incredible journey of recovery. I hope that you take a moment in your day to reflect on the things that make you grateful and the people in your life that love and support you. I also hope that you never give up on yourself no matter how difficult things may be at the moment. Just wanted to share my gratitude today… thanks for reading my post.